As I sit in my house this weekend waiting out the effects of Hurricane Irene I have decided to venture into the world of online dating. I’m unsure if online dating is for me. I have tried it a few times, but never put a lot of effort into it. This time I decided I am going to try it, once again, but actually put effort into it. I am really reading profiles. I am actually looking at what each person is about, what they are looking for, what they love, and yes, I’m vain, so I’m looking at their pictures, too. It just amazes me though what you find out there. I have seen everything from one man’s headline that states, “Just looking for someone normal.” Really? Aren’t we all? Another man states in his profile if I took the time to email you, you should take the time to email me back. Thank you for teaching me manners before I’ve ever even met you. This same man also states in his profile he likes his girls to dress up for him, wear heels and garters, lingerie and the likes. Wow, um, are you looking for a hooker or a relationship? I don’t mind doing nice things for my boyfriend, dressing up, being sexy for him but please don’t put in your profile any of that. Let’s discuss that once we’ve gotten past the “what do you do for a living” conversation.
I received an email from a man last night. He seemed nice enough, I liked his profile, he looked cute in his pictures. So, I responded. We exchanged numbers and started texting. First clue this wasn’t going to go far…he says to me Crystal. Do you come with a spoon because you look delicious. Really? Can we say cheesy? Perplexed I say that’s a new one. Usually the joke that goes along with my name is comparing it to a particular illegal substance. He says, oh, are you a drug? Still perplexed I respond I do drive some people crazy. Then he asks me if I have any tattoos. I say yes. He asks where. I tell him. He asks if I have pictures of them I say no. Who keeps pictures of their tattoos on their phones? Then he says do you have any other pictures. I say no, I don’t make it a habit to keep pictures of myself on my phone. I’m vain, but not that vain. He responds I have pictures but I’m unsure if I should send them. This led me to believe these pictures were rated R not G and I stopped responding and plan to never respond again.
If these things didn’t happen to me I almost wouldn’t believe they could happen. I personally know people who have met amazing boyfriends online. I’ve known one who got married to the person they met online. I know it can happen I’m just unsure it will happen for me this way. I’m trying to have faith though and will continue to weed through the many, many profiles and see how it goes. The fact is sadly, great boyfriends are not just dropped off at your front door. Talking today to my (straight) male BFF he offered to look over my profile and give me tips to make sure I wasn’t attracting the unwanted attention including the latest email I received stating the man emailing me was 5’9”, 180 pounds and looking for a friendship and/or a casual sexual relationship. I wrote back and said I am not looking for that (hello read my profile please) and promptly deleted and blocked this particular gentleman. Man, it’s a scary, scary world out there online. But, as my male BFF reminded me, it’s no different than the bar. You could still meet that man who is only looking for a casual sexual relationship and you could still meet that man that’s also looking for something more serious, but just isn’t for you. His point, totally valid, led me to continue with the online dating world. Albeit somewhat reluctantly, but I’m out there, I’m online, I’m trying and as stated in my last post He’s just not that into you, “after all the unreturned phone calls, broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment you never gave up hope.” So this is me, not giving up hope. Yet. Then again, maybe I’ll just get a puppy and call it a day. They’re loyal, always at the door to greet you when you come home, happy to see you no matter what you look like or what mood you’re in, but they’re not potty trained. Then again, are men really ever potty trained? Decisions, decisions.
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