“Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up. If a guy punches you he likes you. Never try to trim your own bangs and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending. Every movie we see, every story we're told implores us to wait for it, the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. But sometimes we're so focused on finding our happy ending we don't learn how to read the signs. How to tell from the ones who want us and the ones who don’t, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. And maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy, maybe...it's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is... just... moving on. Or maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment you never gave up hope.” Gigi
I loved the book He’s Just Not That Into You. I loved the movie as well. They were, for me as a female told all the things growing up that Gigi mentions in the quote above, eye openers. It is one of the few chick flicks Hollywood has put out that I believe showed life and love as close to reality as many of us real girls get. Tell me you don’t know a friend or family member who could relate to Ginnifer Goodwin, Drew Barrymore, Jennifer Aniston, Jennifer Connelly and, yes, even Scarlett Johanson’s characters. Some of the advice given in the book and acted out in the movie seems simple enough to understand and only a dumb person wouldn’t get it. Example, if a man cheats on you he just isn’t that into you. Well, duh. Or how about this one: you go on a date, think everything went well, the guy gives you all the “I like you” signals, and then you never hear from him. You think, ok, guess he didn’t like me. Well, not necessarily true. After polling several male friends and advice books, I’ve learned men will not call when they don’t like you and they’ll not call when they do like you. Really? Thanks for making that clear cut and simple to understand.
Dating is difficult; those of us out there in the dating world know this. Those NOT in the dating world can certainly remember how difficult it was. I feel like the invention of texting and social networking has increased the level of difficulty in dating. As also brought up by Drew Barrymore’s character, Mary, in the movie He’s Just Not That Into You: “I had this guy leave me a voicemail at work, so I called him at home, and then he emailed me to my BlackBerry, and so I texted to his cell, and now you just have to go around checking all these different portals just to get rejected by seven different technologies. It’s exhausting.”
Sadly, the stork doesn't drop off amazing boyfriends at our doors. As much as I LOVE to watch chick flicks, I HATE them. I mean, really, who is that lucky to have some gorgeous landscaper work on their house and fall in love with them. Or switch houses with a stranger for a holiday and fall in love with the stranger’s brother and/or neighbor. Or go off to Ireland to propose to your boyfriend only to end up with the gorgeous Irish guy who helps you to GET to said boyfriend to propose. Don't get me wrong, I'd love for any of it to happen to me, but let's be real. Stuff like that doesn’t happen to real girls. The third act twist doesn’t exit. The grand gesture, it isn’t for us real girls. Maybe it’s out there for some, and they will continue to be the “urban relationship myths” as coined so eloquently by Miranda in Sex in the City to give us single gals out there hope. But I have come to the conclusion that when it comes to chick flicks, life does NOT imitate art.
In love, as with life, there are no guarantees, no absolutes. This is what makes dating so damn difficult. Of course, the “urban relationship myths” certainly don’t help a gal out either. The minute we gather up the courage to accept that said person just isn’t that into us, a well meaning friend, always a female, will tell you no, no my friend’s cousin’s friend met this guy and they went on a date and didn’t talk again for six months and then they ran into each other and bam now they’re happily married. These well meaning girlfriends are doing what we girls are taught to do, supporting one another. Supporting our fellow female (quite often this support involves tears, tissues, and copious amounts of ice cream and/or alcohol). It’s these well meaning girlfriends that give us real girls hope about our particular pathetic dating circumstance.
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