The best Valentine's Day ever

As strange as this may come across, yesterday was the best Valentine’s Day I have ever had. What made it so special? A couple of things. One, I was with two of my best friends in the world whom I love dearly and love more than I ever take the time to tell them. Two, we went to donate our platelets yesterday to a dear friend who was recently diagnosed with Diffuse Large B Cell Lymphoma.

Our friend, Maryann, is at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center. There are no better hands she could possibly be in. A complication of her cancer is that she has immune thrombocytopenic purpura (ITP). Literally, her body is attacking her platelets as if they are foreign cells. She has had many platelet transfusions but still requires more. I have never given blood or platelets before. Not because I’m somehow against it or can’t give, but mostly because I had a slightly traumatic dealing with hospitals and needles at a very young age (but that’s a story for another day). When the hospital said we need to get donations for Maryann I didn’t hesitate to make my appointment. My traumatic experience be damned, a few hours of discomfort I might have could NEVER compare to what Maryann is going through. I was glad and happy to do it and I’d do it again in a heartbeat however many times she needs. Unfortunately for me, I was unable to complete the process of giving platelets or blood. The nurses tried, but my veins just wouldn’t cooperate. Fortunately for Maryann, I was the only one with that issue and as of last night she has two new bags of platelets coming her way from people who love her dearly!

I pray daily for a speedy and quick recovery for her. Between that and attempting to donate platelets it’s really the only thing I can do (considering I’m not a doctor or fairy Godmother who could just take this all away from her!) I have friends who have never even met Maryann but as soon as I  mentioned her situation they immediately made appointments to donate platelets and/or passed the information on to their coworkers, family and friends to get even more donations for her. It’s been overwhelming to see the response of how people can really come together and rally around someone in a time of need.

In the last few years cancer has touched one too many people I love. For far too long it always felt to me like something that happened to others. Quite recently it’s become all too real to me how cancer does not care about your race, age, gender, social status, or monetary status. It touches us all in one way or another at one time in our life or another. I can only do what I can to help my friend and I can only pray that one day those super smart minds in the research facilities can come up with a cure to ALL types of cancers.

If you would like to donate platelets on Maryann’s behalf, please call 212-639-7648 or visit http://www.mskcc.org/giving/blood. When making the appointment please specify it will be a platelet donation and on behalf of Maryann Adesso.

For more information on lymphoma, please visit http://www.lls.org/.

Girl gone primal

My box (CrossFit) started a nutrition challenge on January 31. I have dabbled in paleo/primal eating, but have never 100% committed to it. I decided to take on this challenge for a variety of reasons. One, I felt like it was a good way to get to know some of my fellow CrossFitters. Two, I wanted to see what kind of a change I could see in six weeks by really committing to this. I feed off positive energy and the more I see results, the more I want to keep doing what I’m doing.

In this challenge we are placed on a team with others who have similar goals and are required to log all of our food and workouts. We are encouraged to talk to one another, share recipes, ideas and information – as well as most important support one another. I have to say my team has been great. We all fell off the proverbial wagon Superbowl Sunday and agreed to do burpees for our infractions. I hate burpess, but I owe what I owe and will dutifully turn them in. Week two was far better for me than week one. On Sunday I went to the grocery store early and bought my supplies for the week. What’s funny is I often have read if you stick to the outer aisles of a grocery store that is where you will find the healthiest food. Without even meaning too that’s exactly what I found myself doing as I went from location to location getting what I needed. Once at home on Sunday I made a veggie and egg frittata that I was able to cut up and portion out for breakfast for this week which I had with some berries and bacon. I also made some salmon that I’ve added to my salad for lunches this week. I also cooked up a Cornish game hen which I had for dinners on Monday and Tuesday (with veggies and sweet potato for sides). I also bought a London broil which was my dinner Thursday and Friday (with veggies and salad for sides). It worked out great because without having to worry about it this week I’ve been able to stick to the plan. I have noticed a few things. One being I need to increase my veggie intake. I think instead of fruit and nuts for my afternoon snacks at work next week I’m going to have veggies with a protein. I also have noticed that more than I ever did before I sometimes find myself craving something sweet. I’m not a desert person, or very often a sweet person. I am more of a savory person. I’m not sure yet what this is a reaction to. Am I truly craving sweet or do I just think I am? I’m waiting it out to see how next week goes. I also have had an extremely stressful couple of weeks and have been very proud of myself for NOT allowing myself to use food as a comfort more often than not. I am starting to realize food doesn’t make you feel better. After you’re done eating the crap you still feel like crap and now have the added guilt of asking yourself, “why did I just eat that?!”

I am still having my coffee in the morning and every great once in a while I’ll have cheese. What can I say? I love cheese. But I try to really limit my intake. I also every once in a while allow myself a soda, but I’m really, really trying to get that out of my system completely. I know how bad it is for you and I just don’t need it. But sometimes I want something more than water and when I do (so long as not at work) I have decided I like wine better than soda so I’m trying to retrain myself to forgo the soda, have the water, and then later at night if I’m still craving something more, have that glass of wine.

Overall, I think it’s been going well. I don’t know if I’ve lost anything, my scale’s batteries need to be replaced. I took my measurements before the challenge started and won’t check them again until it’s done. I might just hold off and wait until the six weeks is up to weigh myself again, too. I don’t know on that one though b/c if I see I’m losing it’ll just push me to keep at it, so we’ll see! All in all I have to say I’m finding this to be a great lifestyle change. The food I’ve been making is yummy and filling. Other than the slight craving for sweets, I’m honestly not craving anything the way I used to. Girl gone primal. Yes please!

 

Resolutions revisited

So, as for my New Year’s resolutions…I haven’t been as on track as I had hoped. It’s been a tough 2012 to start and I have allowed the stress to get to me. No longer allowing myself to make excuses here is where I stand on working toward my goals (not just my New Year’s goals but my 101 list as well):

1. I didn’t eat paleo every meal in January; however, I did better than expected considering my stress level. My CrossFit gym started a nutrition challenge on Jan. 31 and aside from two meals in week 1 I stuck to it!
2. Run 3 times a week…I was doing well at this but then I got sick so I stalled. I signed up for a 5K on April 28 so I need to get back on track if I want to be able to run the entire thing! Run a 5K is also number 3 on my 101 list so I can’t wait to get to be able to check that off as an accomplishment.
3. CrossFit 3 times a week. Ok, 2 out of 4 weeks I did this, again stress and sick (I swear I think the two go hand in hand!) but I can say I went at least once or twice every week since the year began and the week of Jan. 31 I did go 3 times.
4. Every day remind yourself of something you’re grateful for. Some days were better than others. We’re all human, we all forget to remember and we all need to remember
5. I haven’t lost sight of my end goal and every day is a new day…and I just get up, smile (ok maybe not smile, for those of you who know me I’m so NOT a morning person), but I get up, get coffee, and then smile, and face the challenges of that day head on and know that one day I will find myself on the other side of my end goal.
6. On March 6 I will be taking a knife skills class and that is number 40 on my 101 list and I can’t wait to get better with the knives in the kitchen. Mostly so I don’t end up one of these days with my thumb in my meal!

That in a nutshell is where I’m at. I feel like 2012 is going to be a year of amazing things, great changes, and happy times to come as well as I looked forward to accomplishing many, many goals. One goal I want to add for 2012 that isn’t on my 101 list is to do at least ONE pull up by the end of the year without a band. Those things kill me but I won’t let them win! This year is about ME winning!

New Year's Resolution

Ok, so not one to fall victim (again) to the “I’m going to lose 1 million pounds in 2012” (ok, not really) resolution trap I’m trying a different tactic. Generally resolutions aren’t met because they are too vague or too impossible to meet. That being said, I’ve decided to come up with a list of mini things I can do in 2012 that will help me accomplish certain goals. They are:

1. Paleo every meal in Jan (and work to make paleo a part of my lifestyle from then on)
2. Run 3 X a week (following the couch to 5K program)
3. Cross Fit 3 X a week (simply b/c I love it and I do still have those damn last 10 pounds I want to lose)
4. Every day remind yourself of something you are grateful for (because although I don’t always recognize it, I have much in my life to be grateful for)
5. Every day keep your end goal in mind; and remind yourself that every day you are one step closer to that end goal (well, just because)

So that, in a nutshell, is my New Year’s resolution. I’ve read it takes 21 days to make something a habit. So, I’m hoping by Jan. 24 each of these items will be a habit in the way that you don’t even think about doing it, you just do it. These are all mini goals that will help me to achieve some larger goals that I set forth for myself in Aug. 2011. I just have to believe in myself and motivate myself because the responsibility is solely on me to do this.

Here and now

I read an interesting article today. The article started off, before you rush into resolutions and creating high expectations for 2012, celebrate what you accomplished in 2011. However big or small, celebrate what you accomplished and your past year. The article continued to explain about practicing contentment with who and where you are right here, right now. This is something I could relate to because I am someone who struggles with being content both with who I am and the here and now.

I feel as if sometimes I live my life as a drug addict. No I am not addicted to any drugs, nor do I even recreationally participate. But in the way a drug addict is always seeking that next high, I am always seeking that next great thing in my life. That “thing” could be, literally a new “thing”, or it could be marriage, children, a new/better job, more money, to lose more weight. Whatever it is at the moment, I’ve realized something about myself over the past few months; I struggle with contentment in the here and now.

Looking back over my 2011, I’ve had quite a few ups and downs. I’ve had some really high highs and really low lows. I’ve spent a lot of this year locked in my own head. It’s been a year for me of discovering a lot about myself that I never knew before. I’ve owned up to myself about fears I have, things I’ve done, and what I truly want for myself, my future, and my life. But in doing so, I still find myself saying; once this happens then life will be perfect. If I can just get this done, then life will be perfect. Instead of sitting back and saying, life is perfect, right here, right now, just as it is. I find myself so often saying, I want, I want, I want. I don’t know how often I find myself saying, I give, I give, I give. Whether that giving be of my time, my money to a charitable contribution, or just giving of myself to those I love. I have been quite selfish in 2011 and it wasn’t until recently that it hit me just how selfish I have been this year. I locked myself away into myself, purposely pushing people away and only seeing the world from my eyes…all of which were selfish acts. I do believe that we as humans sometimes should be selfish. If we don’t take time for ourselves and always give of ourselves what do we have left? However, we cannot be selfish all the time either. There has to be a balance. A yin and yang in life.

So, learning from my mistakes I plan to correct that. Looking back on 2011 I have more good in my life than I could ever imagine. 99.9% of the good in my life is each and every person I am lucky enough to call friend and family. Am I still on a quest for the life I hope to achieve? Yes! As a classic Type-A personality, of course I am. BUT, learning from those around me, learning from myself, I not only vow to be better about being content in the here and now, I vow to be a better human being. One of the items on my 101 list is to lose nothing from this past year and always carry it with me. This year has been one of learning about me, the good, the bad, and the ugly and one of learning more about life than I ever knew before. I just hope by carrying this last year with me I put more positive effects out into the world than negative.

A season of first’s

So, as the end of 2011 closes in, and my 35th birthday closes in on me even faster, I finally did a few things I had never done before in my life. First, I bought a new car. I have never bought a new car before. I have always owned used cars. I have always wondered what that new car smell was like. I’ve also always wondered what it was like to pick out the exact car you wanted. The one you just had to have. I did pick it out…a Ford Edge. And then I found out it was so ridiculously out of my price range that I literally laughed at the sales guy. Not willing to sacrifice everything I wanted on the car (the bells and whistles) simply to meet my budget, I said no. The sales and finance guys were floored that I walked out on what they said was a ridiculous deal. Maybe it was a ridiculous deal they were offering me. But I just wasn’t willing to compromise that much to hit the number in my budget. I learned something about myself that day. I learned just because someone tells me something is great and I should do it, doesn’t mean I have to. Instead, I went to Jeep and got myself a Jeep Liberty. That sales guy was great. No pressure. Let me take my time. Answered every question I had and never got frustrated or lost his patience with me. And, he hit my budget number WITH all the bells and whistles still on the car. I have to say, every morning now when I get in my car, I’m happy. I just am happy with my decision and love my car AND that to me is an amazing feeling. I think I love it the most because aside from getting advice from those I love and trust, and Road and Track magazine as my father taught me, I did this on my own. I looked around, I researched, I went to the different dealerships, and I chose the option that was best for me.

Another first for me was my first professional football game. On Dec. 4 I went to the Green Bay vs Giants game. I have always gone to college football games and LOVED those. I always wanted to go to a professional football game, but just never had the opportunity. Growing up in southern California we lost both our football teams when I was in junior high school to other cities. Los Angeles has yet to get a football team back. But, I digress. I had a blast at the game. The Giants lost but it STILL was super fun. We tailgated and had great seats and awesome fans around us which helped to make the game even that much more fun. It reminded me of being in college. Everyone having fun, enjoying the game, the excitement in the air, I definitely want to go to more and more games now...although I believe I'm still a ways away from being a season ticket holder.

The other first for me this season was decorating my house for Christmas alone and NOT being depressed about it. I pulled out my tree (I should mention it’s totally a fake), grabbed all my decorations, wreath, candles and had at it. I turned on the holiday music channel on my tv. I fought with my cat to get out of the tree box. I then spent (literally) days trying to find the metal hooks to hang my Christmas ornaments on the tree. At least I didn’t have to fight with the lights. That’s the beauty of fake trees…they already have lights on them! I have to admit, almost the entire time over the weekend that I was decorating I kept thinking, you’re supposed to be doing this with someone, but I would push that thinking out of my head and just went for it and tried to have fun with it. In the end I love the decorations I put up and am super happy to come home at night and turn on my Christmas lights. I’m glad I put up the decorations. It has helped make me excited for the coming holiday. I’m not sure what it is about the holiday’s that makes people so depressed. It seems like such a happy time of year. But, inevitably, people always get depressed. I get it, but I don’t. Maybe it’s the hype? Maybe it’s the retailers pushing the “merry happiment” bull down our throats. Maybe it’s that we as human’s have a tendency to focus on what we don’t have or haven’t accomplished instead of focusing on what we do have and what we have accomplished. I’m not really sure what it is, but I’m proud to say I didn’t let the holiday’s depress me. Not this year. You didn’t win.

Thankful

I have a REALLY bad habit of paying attention only to what I don’t have and not giving credit for what I do have. I know as human beings we ALL have this affliction. I try to be better, but I’m human, what can I say? One thing I can say is, for one reason or another, I’m more thankful than usual this Thanksgiving.

My parents are visiting this year and it’s been great having them here. I’ve been keeping my father occupied with little chores around my condo and my mother occupied doing what mother’s and daughter’s do best…shopping. I cooked my first Thanksgiving dinner ever yesterday and I must admit it came out better than I anticipated (minus the gravy that was like cement – no literally when the gravy boat was tipped upside down the gravy didn’t pour out. It didn’t even move!). I never realized how much work it was cooking an entire Thanksgiving dinner. I’m unsure I’ll ever do THAT again! I will say I am extremely grateful to have had my parents here visiting me and to spend the holiday with them. I am a lucky girl to have them as my parents. They can get on my nerves – hey what parents don’t – but I am who I am today because of their love, guidance, and everything they’ve taught me over the years. I realized yesterday I may only have 10 years left with my parents. It came as a shock when I thought that, but, sadly it’s the truth. I need to cherish this time I have with them now because when they are gone I will miss them.

My favorite part of any holiday is after dinner, after desert, after everyone goes home I like to just sit and watch television…and listen. However, I’m not listening to the television…I’m listening to what’s going on outside. Nothing. I love the quiet of a holiday night. It doesn’t matter if you’re in a big city or a small town, at the end of the day once everyone is sufficiently stuffed and worn out, it’s true what the rhyme says, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. It gave me some time to think, to look beside me, to look around and realize all I have. Instead of saying, I should have this, I should have that, I realized how lucky I am to have exactly what I have in my life at this very moment. I wake up in the morning in a warm bed, I get in a car that starts without fail, I go to a job (while sometimes stressful and annoying) I enjoy it and it affords me the ability to pay my bills, to come home at night and have food to eat, and pay for the “things” I find so important to me. But what’s most important, what’s completely intangible but without which I’m positive I couldn’t call my life a life, are those I call family and friends. To have friends to talk to on the phone, to have family to turn to when I cry, and those extra special few in my life who I can yell at, cry to, laugh with, and have the time of my life with, that is what makes me a truly lucky and truly thankful girl.